Ok... hear me out.
Beyonce lied to you and Independence is a four-letter word.
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together"
~African proverb
"Independence" means being able to function or exist without relying on others, while "interdependence" means mutually relying on each other for support and achieving goals, essentially where individuals depend on one another to succeed; independence is about self-reliance, while interdependence is about collaborative efforts within a group
Hold on tight. I might ruffle a few feathers and rattle the bushes.
So yeah... you were lied to.
By Beyonce, by Janelle Monae, by Mary J Blige and yeah Neyo.. you lied to bro.
Okay maybe not "Lied" to exactly. Maybe I should use the word... "Mislead"
What if the word "Independence" has been mischaracterized to be the best thing for us vs a barrier that prevents us from actually being as successful as we could be.
Now.. it is important that you understand that I am not saying independence in of itself is bad...
BUT...
It is "LIMITING". and why would you settle for limits on growth possibilities?
Would you use a butter knife instead of a flathead screwdriver?
Would you use a brick instead of a hammer?
Would you walk to your destination 100 miles away instead of driving, or Uber or flying or.... whatever.
Yes you will still things done, you will still get where you are going, but... but it will take longer, waste more time and take more effort.
Why would you "CHOOSE" that path instead of a different one?
Because maybe... just maybe your landscape, your pain, your trauma or your ignorance told you that was the best way to be.
I lost my mother on 1/1/25. She was an "Independent" woman. She refused to allow any man to dictate what she did or how she did it. I admired that freedom she had, that ... "Moxie" (old word...don't you judge me.)
I admired it and how she lived her life. I adopted some of her thought processes and attitudes and lived MY LIFE MY way.
That was until I joined the Military. That was before I learned the act of being a good part of something good.
That was until I learned a new word and a new way.
Interdependence.
Connection is important and so is working together to achieve a greater good vs just a good.
Cooperatively... Reciprocally...
None of us and I mean none of us is ever truly independent. We are a web of families, friends, coworkers, allies and associations that allow us to be successful in this thing we call life.
Knowing how to navigate those webs, those lines, those anchors is the very thing that will lead to the best version of who you were meant to be.
This world we live in is supposed to be one of balance and harmony. Living WITH that which is around us and that includes our personal and yes even professional relationships.
You are not LESS just because you want to work cooperatively and reciprocally and that is AFTER you learn what that means and what it looks like. That is AFTER you UNLEARN the falsehood of "Independence".
Interdependence is often more beneficial than strict independence for women because it fosters support, collaboration, and mutual growth, rather than isolation and excessive self-reliance. Here’s why interdependence can be more empowering:
1. Strength in Support Systems
While independence promotes self-sufficiency, interdependence allows women to lean on trusted relationships (friends, family, mentors, and professional networks) for guidance, emotional support, and shared wisdom. No one has to carry the weight of life alone.
2. Greater Opportunities for Growth
Success often comes from collaboration. Women who embrace interdependence can network, learn from others, and gain access to opportunities they might not have on their own. This is especially important in careers, business, and personal development.
3. Balancing Responsibilities Without Burnout
Independence can sometimes lead to overwhelm, as women try to juggle everything alone. Interdependence encourages healthy delegation and teamwork, whether in relationships, workplaces, or family life, preventing exhaustion and promoting well-being.
4. Emotional and Mental Well-Being
Humans thrive on connection. Interdependence fosters strong emotional bonds that provide encouragement during tough times. Instead of struggling in silence, women can rely on trusted circles to navigate challenges.
5. More Meaningful Relationships
Being independent doesn’t mean being alone, but too much self-reliance can lead to disconnection. Interdependence allows for deeper, more reciprocal relationships, where both giving and receiving support are valued.
6. Amplifies Collective Power
Whether in advocacy, leadership, or personal growth, women working together amplify their voices and create greater impact. Interdependence builds communities of empowerment rather than isolated success stories.
7. Redefining Strength
True strength isn’t about “doing it all alone.” It’s about knowing when to ask for help, offer help, and collaborate for a bigger purpose. Interdependence promotes both self-sufficiency and connectedness, creating a balanced and sustainable way of thriving.
When the world tries to tear us apart, we need to find a way to say "No, together or not at all."
On Purpose and With Purpose
Intentionally Yours,
Dr. T
America's #1 Intentionalist Coach.
Comments